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I should have listened,
Why couldn’t I have…
Because it felt right?
Right for the moment.
Trying to fill something
A house without anyone living inside it.
A car with no passenger.
It felt good until it wasn’t. Till you left. Left… everyone leaves. Eventually. Not always they say. False yes always. Why couldn’t you understand. Why couldn’t you help. Why couldn’t you STAY?
Stay. Nobody ever wants to stay. No one understands. No one can help, fix. Who wants to fix a broken mold when they can fine a new one. One that’s not broken. Something they can break. We love to break. To hurt but feels good don’t it. Why? “Talk to someone it will help” lies. “I’m here if you need me” lies. “I WILL NEVER LEAVE” Lies. Lies. Lies. Why can’t I be happy. Am I not enough. Make me enough. Make me happy. You cant. Because you don’t know how. You never will. You. Wont. I should have said “no I’m fine” ignored and acted like I wasn’t listening. Disappeared. But I gave you a chance I gave you multiple and you took the easy way out. Your not broken. I am . I AM. And it’s your fault. You know it. But your ignore to make yourself feel better. Why didn’t I listen because it was a feeling unexplainable. Love? Maybe I couldn’t tell you because I don’t understand the definition maybe once in my life I felt it but was it true? In a garden so beautiful with ponds and flowers and big old trees with history. There is always rain. Raining. It has to rain to stay beautiful to grow. I guess you had to rain to help me grow, funny ain’t it. I hate that you made me Feel. Want. Need. Breathe. LIVE.
Still I wait. I think. Stress. Cry. Over you. YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY Ihateyou
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