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I hate change but what can I do about it
I've lived my life constantly silenced, both my parents contradict eachother daily. I must be the perfect stereotype daughter and not act out. I've never realized it meant to never speak, laugh or talk. I'm shut down every chance I get and can never express my feelings or discuss them since my parents don't care. I hate it so much.
I know this has effected me a lot with social anxiety and stuff but my family just makes it worst. I have noone because of covid except family and I hate myself for who I've become.
I've finally let myself find content where I feel happy watching others and I've found someone who talks so passionately about little things and it made me cry. I wish I could be like that but I've turned rude and pessimistic.
Always speaking passive aggressively as a defensive mechanism. I want to change but how do I start? How do I rewire my brain to tell me it's okay to act human and not like a doll? How do I lower my walls enough to breathe normally? How do I become more optimistic? How do I calm my nerves when my family is around. I want to be happy but I don't know what to do.
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PLEASE ANSWER ME :'(
So , I will talk briefly , I Knew someone through FB , We went from Friends to close Friends to Lovers . It was a distance relationship . He was Good to me . Bu...
Happiness is who you are when concerns subside. There is nothing to do or get to have it - no place to go to find it.
All thoughts come and go. Their arrival does not make them your creation or make them automatically meaningful. Some leave without much notice. Others linger and return often. The ones you just shared fall into this category. They stay because you give them the energy to do so. It starts with your attention, then you add a dramatic story, and when you get emotional about it, the thought (these thoughts, become your constant companion. This is the case for welcomed and unwelcomed thoughts, for the4 helpful and harmful thoughts. They all need energy to persist.
You are not your thoughts. You are not the brain that has these thoughts. You are the awareness that has this marvelously complicated and powerful thinking instrument that needs to be understood and managed.
You are the gatekeeper who decides which thoughts are worthy or further consideration - which thoughts will guide your actions. Right now no one is in charge and that is why you think and feel the way you do. When you are ready to take on this responsibility, I can get you started and will stick with you until you decide that's no longer necessary.
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