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I never had any friends till last year. Last year I joined a new school. I didn't talk to anyone. I'm kinda introvert and like to keep it that way. But once I get close to someone, I never would want to leave them. A guy talked to me for a long time. He made effort to make me speak. Now we're good friend. He told me I'm one of the closest friends he has. He's extremely extroverted. And he also gets jealous when I talk about my old friends (who I'm not friends with anymore). We used to talk all day and text late nights. We still do. But he recently got a new friend and he also introduced her to me. I can't help but feel jealous. He talks with me how to he talks usually. But when he's not texting me I feel like he's texting her. They both are online at the same time. I know this is very petty. But I can't help it. Maybe it's me who's over reacting. Idk what to feel. He's the only friend I have after all. And I like him very much. I don't want to lose him. I feel insecure. Am I over reacting?
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10-30-2021 (11:29 PM)
all i can feel is jealousy fot people who are living there best life. then there's me who works paycheck to paycheck for a job that i don't like for the people...
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A study in jealousy
Jealousy is a difficult emotion to deal with. First it strikes red-hot, maybe a lick of anger initially. Someone else is doing better, being better, or got the...
Maybe you like him? Would you want him to be your boyfriend? If yes then maybe try to confess.. And if he rejects you then move on.. Try to distract yourself when you think of him. I never got jealous like that towards my friends so I wonder if you like him.
And if you actually just feel lonely then maybe find another friend.. try to talk to a girl and say hi etc
ReplyI like him as a friend and nothing more than that. He told me he also likes me as a friend. And he also said that he loves me as a friend. I've never thought of him more than a friend.
Girls... I've never found a friend like him in girls. Tbh the girls here are toxic. I never had the need to have friend before him. Now that I have a friend like him, nobody seems better than him. He's only and best friend I've ever had. I don't want any other friends. But idk why I feel jealous for him to have a new friend. Is this normal or is something wrong with me?
ReplyI was EXACTLY the same way so I know how you're feeling. Whenever I get a "best friend", I don't want them to leave me and I feel a little jealous when they hung out with other people. For example, recently I had a "best friend" who I connected with SO well. We had so many inside jokes and I felt like I could be myself with them. Unfortunately, I sort of felt jealous/ irritated when my "best friend" talked to other people. Well not really talk, just see her become close to other people. She also seemed extroverted and everytime we talked she always used to say "my friends said this etc etc." It always seemed she had other people. There was this one girl in particular who my friend talked to (who I hated.) I felt like my friend would replace me with her so I hated their friendship so much. I would hate the thought of them texting and having jokes (also the reason why I hated this person is because she did something really rude to me.) I just hated how my friend was so close to someone I hated, you know? Eventually, my friend said that I'm toxic and that I was "annoying and unfunny." She completely changed because of that person. It made me realize how fake and a backstabber she was. Basically what I'm saying is that it's normal to feel jealous of your best friend having other friends because you're worried of being replaced. Just don't get to a point where you're a toxic person. If you are really feeling bad, talk to your friend about this. Just tell him something like "hey, I know you said I mean a lot to you but I can't help feeling you might replace me." Now, I don't really have friends and I'm fine with it I guess. I hate the feeling of being jealous or left out. I need to learn how to make friends and not be as obsessive you know? I've even done research and found MANY people are scared about being replaced by their friends. In my case its what I thought, and I did get replaced (only because I did some toxic things.)
ReplyThe thing is, once he told me that he was jealous when I talked about my old friends. He said me that he's afraid I might replace him and he asked me if I ever had been jealous over him. This was before he was friends with this girl. So I said no. He asked why and I told him that no matter how much ever friends he get, I know that he won't replace me. And he told me that was the best thing one could ever say to him.
So, I told him this. Now how can I tell him that I'm scared of being replaced? How can I tell him after I told him that I trust him completely that he won't leave me? Idk what to do.
ReplySee, you're feelings changed and thats completely fine. Humans are constantly changing their feelings or opinions. Sure, at THAT time you felt like you couldn't be replaced but now you're thinking there might be a chance with the new girl. If he is your good friend, he would understand this. Just because you said that at one point doesn't mean you can't change your opinion. It's not your fault he made friends with another person you wouldn't think would happen. You can say something like "I know I said I didn't think you'd replace me, but I'm starting to feel like it now and idk why." At least now he can clarify your doubts instead of overthinking. And like I explained in my previous message, I kind of know what you're going through. I've always felt jealous of my best friend's other friends because people have always replaced me. Just because your friend talks to other people, doesn't mean his love for you grew any less. Human beings are social people. Many people talk to multiple people to feel less lonely. It's hard for me to understand this because whenever I have a best friend I keep them #1 priority and don't really talk to anyone else. And then I get hurt when they talk to other people because why won't they do the same for me? You shouldn't be scared of telling your friend how you feel because the basis of friendships is trust. You said he cares about you, so what's there to worry about? But please please don't let jealousy ruin your friendship like it did mine. You said your friend was also jealous of you. See, I understand being jealous of friends because I tend to be overprotective over my closest friends. But jealousy can turn friendships toxic really fast. Try talking it out before your feelings get worse :) Honestly, you don't have to figure things out right this second. Maybe take a week or two. Just don't wait too long because trust me, if you don't clarify this up sooner it will just get worse. You'll be thinking "what if he really is replacing me?" While your friend is on the other side thinking everything is 100% okay. Your friend won't know your feelings if you don't tell him. Let me know if this helped <3
ReplyYeah. It really helped me. Like I said I'm an introvert and like you, I never really understood the concept of giving equal importance to everyone. Once I have a friend I only consider them and always only talk with them. Maybe the fault is with me for thinking like this. I hate myself for being jealous. I hate myself for even thinking that he's ever replace me. He's always told me how much I mean to him. He's very open with his feelings. And I'm the exact opposite of him. I've never really told him how much he means to me. It kinda feels weird to be expressive. Now that I know he's very much expressive, Idk how to ask him. He gets hurt very easily. And I don't want him to be hurt. I don't want him to know that I think like this. He's very emotional and also an overthinker. He overthinks alot that he remembers every word I say. I would have even forgot that I said that. But he remembers everything I say. I don't want him to be hurt especially by me.
Maybe I'll wait some more time to see if this feeling goes away. Maybe I'll get used to it. Thanks for you valuable reply. It really helped me.
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