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Now Would Be A Funny Time To Say
5 months ago · · Missing someone,
I don’t really know what else to say to you or how to say it. I suppose now would be a funny time to bring up the note I left in your music binder, if you haven’t found it already. I left it there on that last night. After everyone finished stargazing and went to bed, I went over to the campfire, everyone had left all their stuff out in the open so I figured it would be a good idea to bring it all in. After I did that, I sat near the dying fire and just cried. I was upset that the experience couldn’t have lasted longer. Then I remembered that you had asked to write some in my notebook, I hadn’t looked yet and felt I was supposed to read it then. I opened my notebook and flipped slowly to the page. I don’t know what I was expecting but that, that was perfect. I still can’t believe how god works. I cried even harder and decided I needed to write you a note. A thank you. I didn’t want to give it to you directly and so instead I left it in something, something of yours. On my favorite song. When I came back home to New Mexico and was immediately forced back into school, it was very very hard. The only two songs I played for those first few weeks were Adonai, the one you always played unintentionally while in conversation or while your mind was elsewhere, and god is able, which I happened across while half asleep. It brought me peace. It brought me to camp where when I was weak, I was strong. I repeated those words to myself everyday, whether in a panic attack or simply just trying to walk to my next class. Thank you for that. God knew I would pay attention if it was something from you.
Did you know that my grandma died in November? Yeah, my family packed up and drove to Minnesota for a week. That same week, you drove south to Tennessee. Weird.
I applied for summer staff… and got in! Phil doesn’t have a position picked yet but I’m on the team! Are you going to be on summer staff again? What will you do? I hope you are, though you need new swim-trunks.
How is life for you right now? Are you in school? What is the struggle of your life right now? I’ll pray.
I hope you have a great Christmas walking around in swim trunks in the snow.
That’s what I want to say to you. That’s the truth. But instead I’ll play it safe.