What are you looking for?
5 months ago · · Stress,
The cycle always repeats itself. When will i stop investing so much time and money to someone that will never reciprocate it back. It is as if my brain chooses the most irresponsible and just most uninterested people to obsess over. It is always the people that will never do as much to me as I do for them that I fall for. Always, always. I think it is a way for my brain to focus on something that will never come true so i could avoid feeling all the other uncomfortable feelings that I have to overcome in real life. I hate that about myself I simply want to focus on myself for once but I damage myself and mold myself into ways that will make me more appealing to others and Its so annoying that i care so much to do that for others when I am neglecting myself and goals in return.
I am falling for someone so unattainable and it consumes me every single day. I wish i could get over you i wish i could get over you
the feelings of being with you are bliss but in return, the feelings of being neglected by you are the complete opposite. you can never win. you cant have it all. I wish i could enjoy being with you without feeling sad the moment you leave or the moment you decide you are too busy for me. Now that I think about it, i dont think you have put me first before anything in your life, when i have done that for you multiple times. its so exhausting going all the way for someone that cant even meet you half way
i wish i could tell you how i really feel because it is eating me alive.