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I am in the process of applying to universities and I decided to pretend that I want to study “digital marketing” and now things are getting to real I have no one who will support me help me find out are just support me to do what my heart tells me to do... I have always been a creative kid always making mini projects and loved to do projects at school and making these crazy ideas work and above all impress myself with my hard work my original hard work which has kept me alive and has gave a way of living. a way of living in the sense to see everything in the eyes of an opportunity to be part of something bigger something beautiful with lots of symbolism and a thoughtful meaning. I have dedicated my life to express my freedom through this innocent projects. I never stop daydreaming in my head creating all these pieces of art in my mind and how I could make it a project and most importantly how can create something where others could see through my eyes. I like to take the tools around me and create anything, even if I don’t finish what I start I always am sketching in my mind, or on paper. I have never taken classes of art apart from the one at school which i have always been afraid to it seriously because I am afraid of not being good enough and to be laughed at being actually trying to do something. This mindset bubble I created in which in order to survive I made myself to be a joke to others always with bad grades, bad behaviour, bad English, bad daughter, bad friend, bad sister, bad student, but good at sports (overall dumb and aggressive) it is this bubble that damaged me most... little did I know that hiding my past trauma in this kind of behaviour worsen my insecurities my shyness basically feeding my self hate to seem as if it were the only option. Reason why I feel like I am trapped. To be more specific I feel like I am being dressed by a very very tight dress that is very fragile one wrong move and I am naked to the word with all my secrets my scars and everything I am that society rejects.
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