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How it feels to transform, grow wings, and fly for the first time.
2 years ago · 0 · nonsense, +1
390
Breathe in, breathe out. Over all these years ive grown to hate every fraction of my being. Silently eating away at my own heart for reasons unknown, can't say if i
could'nt find them or if i did'nt want to. Whispering softly to self- ''you're not enough''. But now i am standing on this threshold of change, I don't like changes.
Dejectingly snug in my delusions, furious at my self for neither do i have the strength to continue whats going on nor the courage to change its course of action. i really don't like changes. Think of it what you will. Alright so what do u get when u give a lifelong hopeless some hope? even for a brief second? agony. For now he knows what he does'nt have.
Thats me...im the lifelong loser n what is the hope u ask...its the thought of changing that fact forever. Who am i n what will i become? I was scared, when u have nothing else to lose u lose yourself. And when u lose urself...you cease to exist The entirety reality of ur esse boils down to a single question- 'why?'. But i don't have the time to think about any of that...for now i am on the threshold, threshold of change. With a million questions ringing in my head. I was about to transform into an alluring butterfly.
With wings as big as the world, larger even. I will see the world from a far as if from the moon itself. But before all of that...what is a butterfly? a feeling, a sentient, a distraction or a memory? it all stops making sense after an instant. But its does'nt matter afterall i am a butterfly now. I had now metamorphosized. From what u may ask... a picture, a weather, a point or a disease? its all an illusion. Im afraid i might never die because my existence stems from my beliefs n my beliefs from my existence...its a loop hole. Im immortal. And so is everyone, everyone who believes. Its a loophole.
People will call u insane until ur dead. When will i die? when my beliefs will...sometime in summer among the peonies. And i will be born again...sometime in winter. Im crazy. a butterfly with wings as big as the world...larger even. Butterfly is happiness. My first flight towards the sun...im not the same. I spread my wings but my heart weights me down, i will have to leave it behind me.
I rest my then less fragile heart
gently onto the burgeoning buds
"oh hydrangeas tell me you will keep it forever"
I hummed,i hate it but truly i must part
Now there was nothing but the summertime
sun, that i yearned n longed for
"oh lord let me keep burning forever"
said I once will say it twice
The wings dematerialized right then n there
before i could spread them open wide
my beliefs lay in the throbbing heart
so did I, atleast now i was forever free
From caterpillar to a buttterfly. Breathe in, breathe out.
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