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Hey hello,
I Feel like shit. I Just wanna sit and cry at the shitty depressing life i have. Why do i have no friends what's wrong with me. why does almost every person on this planet just see me as a machine or tool either for this or that. i just look at myself and wonder how did i become the owner of this lifestyle when i don't even want it myself. I try so much for every body. i try my best to make friends, i try my best to keep everyone happy and at the end of the day i am left in this exhausting of a mess that i never thought i would get to. i know that i will never be like others, i will never be able to fit in talking about all the new movies coming up or the next trends or any of that sort of stuff. in my entire 15 years of existence i haven't had a person in my contact list text me just like that for funs sake, never has anybody texted me its always me making the fist move and even then it does not last. i feel like a burden on anyone i try t talk to its like no one want me here. talking to me is like a burden for people. I wonder how many people think of very likely none cause i don't exist anywhere in anybody's life. i am just that person you can blindly show up to if you had a doubt or wanted notes or anything and just use me pretending to be friendly. the second that's over i am gone from their lives i was never meant to exist then why am i here. everyone looks so happy when i am not there. i don't know anymore. i feel bad for my own self. i shouldn't be complaining i shouldn't look at others i should just sit and study all the time i shouldn't think of this. I am sorry, i really am. i apologize for being selfish and wanting to do something fun. i am sorry. i cant want something. it my fault. i have to accept that this is my life . please don't cry. i am not worth it. i have no interests, its ok. at least people are happy not being troubled by me. i wanna give up on life. it seems pointless now. i am just a tool people use. i can always be replaced with something better. i am sorry for being a terrible person. you wont have to think about me once i am gone it wont matter any more and people will very likely be more happy. i don't want to save myself anymore. i tiered of trying. i think i am done. but i don't . . . its okay everyone got a chance, i just failed at it.
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Most people on this planet don't know that you exist so they can't possibly see you as a machine or tool. You are still a child at 15 and you have hardly begun to live your life so don't give up now. You could have good times coming yet so give yourself a chance to live life. You may have a great future ahead of you and a lot of fun times. You don't know. Keep going because God gave you this life to make it the way you want. Merry Christmas.
ReplyHave a lovely Christmas.
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