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I am super annoyed and sometimes I cry out of frustration. I take things to heart and don’t know how to let them go. I feel like people in my life are being unnecessarily annoying and rude, but I have been resisting all my urges to burst into tears on my own recently. I am super mad but I can’t really express it. My eyes feel warm and ready to cry, but I won’t let the tears fall cause it never honestly helped. After I cried, I felt relieved but I don’t think letting myself cry as often as I did is helping. Except, now I am annoyed. My head is just filled with pressure and annoyance. I could tell them how I am feeling but honestly, I can’t seem to find a way that doesn’t backfire on me in my head. What I mean is that, I keep imagining telling them and than their responses. No possible way I imagine the conversation ends with me getting some sort of relief. I am upset at what they say because I feel that they criticize me too much. If I try to say something it always comes out wrong. I feel like I can’t do anything right but I keep telling myself to just let it be. The trouble is, every time I think I have had enough and am ready to say something, I back down because there is also a sense of kindness in them. They do something that make me just let these thoughts go. Something that makes me feel better, as if they just want me to do my best. Maybe it’s just their weird way of showing how they care. I just wish they would do it differently. I don’t want to cry because that is the easy way out of these feelings but I am also fed up. I don’t know what to do, I sometimes think of myself as self-aware of what causes my feelings but I honestly don’t know what to do. It’s so complicated, I feel like I can deeply think about lots of things but I am a slow-thinker and can’t really find the ways to express my feelings. I also want to be alone at times but sometimes my own thoughts make me want to cry.
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What about a diary?
It might help you to release those thoughts
Reply"it's alright". there, imagine you said it. just make the shift so they can carry the unspoken turmoil, knowing they want to say something more, so that they can be the ones it's never resolved for because they never said out loud how hurtful you are. just let it go. let yourself cry and be angry and then move on.
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