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Hello everyone. This is a question which is in my mind from a long time and it has gone over hills now. I was in a relationship and I broke up. After breaking up, my ex wanted to talk and text me. I was not at all fine with it and when I did not receive her calls or reply, she would emotionally blackmail me.
Cut to the year of covid 19. I was lonely and was diagnosed with depression and due to which I had anxiety disorders. My ex gf was a doctor and I told her about this and begged her if not requested her to stop contacting me. She did not agree at all. Being soft and emotional guy I would talk to her thinking it would make her happy. She would always tell me about her ongoing relationships and all the things she did with her boyfriends which includes sleeping with them also. I was lonely and frustrated with depression and anxiety and added with intimacy frustration. I managed myself and cut her off.
A few months back she contacted me back telling she got an internship at an hospital nearby my place and she wanted to meet. My response was no but she told me and requested me to meet her and told me that we would sleep together if time permits and do romantic stuffs. I was excited but at the same time did not want to meet her also. I was confused. She also kept changing her mind between yes and no for sleeping once again. So finally I told her that I will meet her and she told she will sleep with me. The next day she changed her mind and gave a lot of reasons. So I decided not to meet her as I respected her decision. I follow the saying " No means NO".
She started blabbering about how happy she is in her ongoing relationships with two other boys and later she told that she has slept with a lot of guys in this year. Her exact words were " I go out and meet boys, we smoke, drink and then I go with them and enjoy".
It has been over 2 weeks now and I am unable to sleep and my anxiety and frustration is killing me. Who tells those things to an ex and why? She is a doctor and has undergone psychiatry training as well. I want to kill myself and be gone forever. I feel worthless and so insecure after that conversation. I hate myself.
Please help me get through this.
Thanks in advance
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maybe you're not being clear about who you are. women and men can be friends. if you tell someone you're just their friend, why would you get angry and jealous when they share with you the way they would a friend? you are either dating or you are just a friend. you dont have the option of moving back and forth between the two depending on what you're wanting from someone. if you've deemed someone not good enough to date shut your mouth when you hear anything about what they do with other men. it's none of your concern as just their friend.
ReplyI am not her friend. I still want to be in a relationship with her but she does not want to which I respect. I am clear on what I want from her but I don't think she is clear about what she wants.
ReplyHey! I hope that you're doing alright! To be honest, she shouldn't be telling you those things and it makes no sense to me at all. Do not be affected by the things she said. Maybe you can block her phone number or block her from all social media platforms, and totally cut ties with her? I don't see the point to keep her as a contact or as a doctor. I understand absolutely how you feel and this entire situation brings no positivity but only negative energy. I highly recommend finding new hobbies, talk and hang-out with friends, or find new friends. The priority right now is YOU. If she does anything trying to harm you, report to the police and get them to help you / get a restraining order.
ReplyAlso, it seems like she doesn't want to be in a serious relationship with you. It feels as if she wants to have the freedom to fool and sleep around with others. If you and she does not have the same mindset, the relationship is not going to work - as a couple or as friends. Please, take good care of yourself and you deserve someone much better.
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