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I'm letting my boyfriend be my main factor in all this. I'm so caught up worrying that if I'm not there with him he's doing some fuck shit behind my back that I have quit jobs over it, I have put family aside, not kept appointments or important dates, and pissed some people off that shit me not to. All for him. There is no trust what's so ever for him. He has a past even tho that don't mean he is that now, I can't fully let that go. He says such wonderful things and looking in his eyes I believe every word. But when he's not here and don't answer the phone I immediately become insensed that he's playing grab ass with some female somewhere. I don't have any proof that he's done anything but he's lied to me about shit and changed a woman's name in his phone to a mans so I wouldn't know they were talking. And that's enough for me not to trust him. But I don't wanna be without him I can't stand the thought of him having what we have with someone else. But how do I compromise the two? They say I can't have a relationship with no trust but I say I can even tho it's not always happy
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