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To the parents of teenagers on here: Do you make it a point to spend time with your teenager? And why do you do so?
I ask this question because my mother usually didn't want to spend time with teenaged me and preferred her Internet activities, and I often avoided her because she was too distant. I'm thinking now that my experience might not be normal.
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of course we spend time with our teenagers. sometimes internet people get very delusional in their judgments about others, acting as if that one piece of technology is everything, as if we give a flying sh*t about what any one of you thinks. we don't.
ReplySpeaking from quite a similar experience, I learnt that nothing is like “normal” per se. One’s definition of what a Norma family is like, is set by multiple guidelines like where you grew up and your social circle but I think… I could be wrong here as everyone’s experience is different but usually parents do want to spend time with their kids. But they don’t for various reasons like:
1. They don’t know how to
2. They’re bad at expressing it because of their upbringing
3. They express it in other ways (feeding you, random moments of kindness that weird you out or something like that)
4. Or the worst would be their narcissistic in their parenting style where they refuse to centre anyone but themselves in the middle of the relationships.
Honestly, be the bigger person and just reach out even tho they’re distant and they might reject you. At least you tried. Try also talking to them about your wants and expectations (if you can cuz being from other ethnic households it’s almost taboo lol) but yeah try to express wanting to connect with her more.
ReplyBe the bigger person? I tried that already and it didn't work. No thanks. I'm resigned to the fact that I'll never have a good relationship with my mother. It'll be so much easier to adjust my life to her absence.
Reply