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It's almost been a year and a half since I living abroad to study, far from my parents and friends. I have a friend, but she's kinda toxic friend. She's manipulative and always playing victims when a problem occurred. When there's a friend that reach out and called her with my names, she looked jealous. And when a bad thing happens to me she put her front face like she did care, but she ended up looking happy for the problem i have. She's waaay older than me, but acted like a teenager. Perhaps she wanted to be perceived by others dorm mates here, since other dorm mates here are a young girl (some are same age as me). There is sometime that I don't even want to see her face. Cause I just had enough of her. As to refresh my mind, I do want to travel and explore this country i'm living in now, but I got no friends to accompany me. I know, i supposed to travel alone if so, but some part of me feels like it is sad to travel alone. Then i try to reach out my friend in my home country to just share them how I feel, but people have life, they were too busy to listen to my trivial unimportant story. I want to tell my parents, but on the other hands, the thought of this kind of story might worried them.
I do want to have a peaceful day, without being suck when i meet her. I tried to be positive and less care about what she did, but whenever I tried to be positive about her, once more she prove me right that she's a toxic person. I do want to cut my relationship with her, but I don't know what am I supposed to do. I lived in the same dorm as her.
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Travelling to a new country is always so intimidating so the fact that you did that is amazing and brave! I think getting in touch with international groups that are in that country would be good so you can experience more of the place and have good friends to do it. It’s hard and isolating in a new place but I’ll tell you what, you only live once in this life. Don’t get caught up in your head. Take a deep breath, look around at your accomplishments, write down your fears and list the ones you can control and can’t control. If you put your fears through a logical lens, they become less scary!
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