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It all started 2 days ago. I was having a problem with my school friend online and I told about it to my family (not telling the name). Well, she is not my family but she lives in my house (again not telling why and how). So she gave me her opinion about my problem and I didn't agree with her. I disliked her view about the problem coz' she's lowkey telling I'm wrong. I mean I might not be completely right but I don't know I was at anger and I refused her opinion rudely. I raised my voice and such. She got mad at me and I, in reply, said sorry because of it in the most insincere way. "OK, I'M SORRY?!" like this. And yes you guessed it, she became angrier and called me out about how useless my apology was. And then my egoistic rude self said "You know what, no matter how sincere/real my apology is, you will never forgive me." It's the last straw for her and she got out of the house. After some time she came back, but she never be the same. She started to ignore me, she became rude when handling things. It's actually not surprising because she did that a lot whenever we were arguing but the thing is, we made up eventually. But now she doesn't. She ignored me and ignored me. And it also affected other people around her, because she became cold to them. I'm so sorry. I'm devastated that my words hurt her. I'm afraid to say sorry. Because I have, and it started the problem. I mean, if I were to say sorry again, small chances she would forgive me. Because she doesn't really care about saying sorry, especially after things I've done to her. And I feel like I always say sorry but repeat the same acts. I want to change myself, let my changed self be my apology.
I don't know. Someone has said bad things to her once. Even something should've made her hurt than my case. But she eventually made up with them and forgot the problem. They didn't have to be ignored for days to finally made up. I'm a bit jealous. But I know that they are favored by her. I know. But still it doesn't justify the things I've said to her. I just want her to forgive me, I know it wouldn't be easy. And I will try my best to wait. I want to change myself. I hope she forgives me. Even if turns out she can't, I just hope she could stop ignoring me and just be normal again.
I'm sorry. I'm toxic. And I want to change.
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Say sorry and repent
Repent means to turn away from your old ways. It is important that you understand what u did wrong, and that when you apologize you try to become a better person. You writing this message shows that you truly understand what went wrong and somethings need to change. I know that it might not work to say sorry, but you don't want to continue living without sharing to her how you truly feel. Maybe try writing her a letter, saying words similar to these....give her time to read it and decide what she wants to do. Be strong and take action. And don't just try hange for her or anyone...do it for you. It's your life and you are writing the story. Be proud of it! Blessings to you from me 💛
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