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I am crying. I have my own goals and dreams. I know for sure what career I want. I know who I want to marry and I know he wants to marry me too. But I can't even move a single step towards these goals because of parental and societal restrictions. Actually my parents sacrificed their whole lives just for me and my happiness, they have always loved me, so I vowed to myself that I'll never let them down and dedicate my life towards making my conservative parents proud of me. That's why I am studying what they want me to and marrying whom they want me to. And I feel like this life isn't of my own. I feel happy to know that my parents are happy for having such an obedient and good daughter. I also know that if I ever run away or at least marry my love and do my career without their permission or by force and they disapprove of it and they're upset with it, then I'd feel even more miserable than I am now. I'd feel selfish and hate myself for being selfish for parents who sacrificed so much for me. For me, the pain of obeying my parents and seeing them happy is less than the pain of doing what I want but seeing them hurt. I just hope my love for them stays. But I just have a dream life and unfortunately I must face the fact that I live in a reality, in a country and society with a family and people around me to consider as well.
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You don't owe your parents anything for deciding to procreate, you certainly don't owe sacrificing your own happiness. Best to 'disappoint' them now and let them get used to you making your own decisions than them seeing the aftermath of a bad marriage and unhappy career.
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