But it wasn’t, and we weren’t.

This is the weirdest thing to say, and possibly admit to myself but. Tonight I got closure. I thought tonight, going to my ex’s tiktok was going to become this obsessive like oh this is them and their face still and whatever. I thought I’d see something about me, and I didn’t. Not even from the time we were dating, and like, I’m sure whatever they made about us anyway was deleted (they were deleting stuff about me before we even broke up, which was the biggest sign ever I guess?). Anyway, not seeing stuff about me, and just seeing in general like that they were just living life, kinda was like the best feeling. Like? I can’t explain it but for me I thought they were holding our breakup against me and it was gonna haunt me forever, and I tried to remember that what happened during our breakup wasn’t my fault, and that for a week or so they had been trying to get rid of me anyway. But it’s hard because you think too much about it nonetheless. It was months of me assuring myself that I wasn’t a bad person. But now I know, for sure. It was them just being done with me. But it doesn’t make me sad or angry anymore, like knowing that it was just them pushing me out the door for sure, makes me feel free. It makes me feel like everything has been taken from my shoulders. What a weird way to gain freedom from this, right?