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Loosing a child, in my case my 16 year old daughter, it's the most devastating thing a mother can ever go through. There are no words to express the pain felt, the wanting, the loneliness. It's unexplainable, it hurts physically, mentally emotionally, spiritually. It's a pain that no mother or father should ever have to learn how to live with. From the moment my baby was gone the world just crashed from the inside out, it's like an atomic bomb exploded, there's no coming back. It's only been a short time since it happened but as the days go by it just hurts more and more. I trust in God and I know He is the one giving me the strength to be standing and picking up my family and moving us forward a little step at a time. How does a mother keep it together after such a great loss? I don't know. I'm just trying to learn how to keep my son happy and help my husband when the pain gets too hard to bear. Life will never be the same, I will never get over loosing my daughter I know that with time I will learn to remember her with her happy beautiful smile and maybe a little less pain. I'll trust Jesus that when my time comes I'll see her again, that she will be waiting for mom with wide open arms. I feel like so much was taken away when she was suddenly gone. I don't get to see the fruits of our bearings, I don't get to see the woman she would have become, or the smile that she was so expectant to see after her braces would have been removed. I don't get to see her finish high-school or go to college, or figure out the person that she wanted to become. Dreams shattered, promises left un-kept, hope momentarily lost. I feel like my world is in slow motion while the rest of the world just fast forwards around me. I can write forever and forever won't be enough to explain or describe the pain of loosing your child.
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I’m really sorry that you have to go through this and I’m not a mother so I might never be able to fully understand your pain.
I really hope that this pain will go away…that someday you can smile after looking at her photos and remember the good memories you have with her. She’s not gone…she’s now everywhere WITH you…she’s looking at you from above. You will be reconnected with her someday..
So till that day, relive and cherish the memories you have of her
Replyim so sorry. youve got this :) <3
ReplyMine isn’t as bad cuz He was only 4 days old, so I didn’t know him or anything about him.
Me and my wife held him as he took his last breaths though, and while those moments are treasured, the blueness as life faded and he breathed his last breaths still haunt me. I can’t shake them.
The pain. My goodness, the pain. You’re so right. It’s suffocating. It’s intoxicating, it controls and dominates. It clouds the mind. Everything just feels grey, right? Everything’s just different.
I agree with what you said a lot. I believe in god too. But usually the stuff that friends and family say, thinking they’re offering good Christian encouragement, just makes things worse.
I highly suggest listening to rob bells podcast, on apple podcasts. “Make room for the immensities” is title of one podcast that helped me a lot. I know you may think rob bell is a heretic if you’re a Christian lol, my family does, but please , please , suspend the whole debate on hell and whether rob is a danger to all of Christian’s or not lol and just listen to some of his podcasts, go back to 2016 and listen to episode 11 the immensities and then listen to some other ones.
He is the first pastor and Christian who is saying anything about grief and loss and how I feel since it happened, and I’m just now starting to turn a corner as a result the last few months . And my son passed in 2018.
ReplyThank you so much. I don"t know who that pastor is so I will be listening with no pre-conception. lol
And loosing a child no matter how old hurts like crazy. I'm glad you're finding some relief.
I just go day by day.
ReplyI’m so sorry for your difficult loss.
Reply