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you are always on my mind, every waking thought is about you and its utterly exhausting. i want you to myself, its so selfish of me but thats all i know. you get me in a way nobody else had before and i am forever greatful. with each passing day i become more in love with you and it breaks my heart in doing so. i shouldnt have these feelings for you considering im dating yor best friend. ive messed up and dont know where to fix it. i dated him to try and ride myself of thinking about you, you come up at every dinner discussion. my friends are sick and tired of hearing about how happy you make me when i talk to you. you smile is worth its weight in gold. i cant image a world without you and that is what scares me the most. what happens when you leave. what do i do then. who do i talk to. youre my yellow but also my black. theres nothing i can do or say anymore that can fix this siuation. what is done is done and cant be fixed. you kept me here when i didnt want to exist anymore and i wish i could tell you all this. maybe one day when im old and frail ill muster the courage to tell you this but until then..i love you
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