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For 18 years I've spent Valentines Day alone. I've dated girls but never the right time for anything. Nothing lasts. I had a girl, and she was my everything. But now I'm going on my 19th year alone. She started getting distant once I talked about my mental issues... A couple nights ago she decided to get drunk and tell my best friend she likes him. Then acted like the victim. Drunk words are sober thoughts.
These past few weeks have been completely awful. My grandmother was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, I was pulled over going 60 in a 30, scratched my car, got stuck in a ditch, my girl broke up with me, I'm trapped in a job that I don't enjoy. Every day is just getting worse and I know longer want to wake up anymore. I feel like I'm being dragged around everywhere. I'm in so much pain, I want everything to end. I want to feel loved, cared for, I want to feel special and not like a second choice or an afterthought. I want to be a priority.
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ReplyYou are not missing much with Valentine's Day! Yes the whole romanticised holiday can be very special to a couple but it's not the end of the world to not have anyone. Celebrate it with friends. Have a anti-valentines day where you watch horror movies or something. A few drinks with a few friends - that if being on your own is bothering you.
Relationship Advice: You need to find someone who is strong enough to be with you through the hard times as well as the good times. Very similarly to you I struggled to be honest with myself and my partner with my mental health issues. I went through a lot of shit relationships hiding how I was feeling to be with someone. Thankfully I came to my senses and now I am married to an amazing woman who constantly checking in on me as she can tell if something is playing on my mind.
Moral of the story is that you will find someone. Don't put pressure on it. You're still young. You have plenty of time to fully be happy with who you are and find someone who can be the same back to you and together is magic. Try and stay positive. It sounds like you are going through a rough time put keep your chin up. You can do this. Just take every day as it comes and talk to a friend you can trust. If not doing these post every so often and getting some one to listen may help too. Just hang in there mate! You got this!!!
Replyeverything will come at its own time, trust me. Give yourself time to heal and focus on you. Don't depend on no one bc at the end of the day you only have yourself. Keep your head up! you got this<3
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