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So not too long ago, somewhere before January 21, my girlfriend broke up with me. She did so because she has a lot of stuff going on and she doesn't think it's fair to me or something like that. There are no hard feelings, I completely understand her. That's why she liked me (and still does). She's had a lot going on in her life, and a lot has happened in her past too. She opened up to me and I showed her what love truly is. And yes I know what love is because I've searched and experienced what I thought was love many times, until I finally found that the answer was right in front of me the entire time. You see, I am a Christian, and my faith in God is strong. He has shown me what love is throughout my entire life. I asked Him into my heart at a very young age, but I never really focused on Him until I got expelled from my first school in 7th grade. (long story, but someone accused me of threatening them when I didn't) But that entire situation was my fault. I got expelled because I thought I could be cool, because I brought something to school that I thought would make some of my "friends" think I'm cool. I was so focused on myself and my image that I never set my eyes on the One who truly matters. But when I got home that day, I cried my eyes out. I was thinking about how much I disappointed my family. I was finally not thinking about myself. I went to a room in my house and prayed, cried, cried while I was praying. God convicted me. He told me (not audibly, in my heart) that I was selfish. I knew it was true, I knew that He was telling me this because He loves me and wanted me to realize that I was living horribly. I was living for myself, when I should have been focusing on Him and my family. God deserves so much more because He has given me, all of us, so much more. He gave us the true meaning of love when He sent His Son to die on a cross for us. He gave us a way to be with Him for eternity, and we don't even need to do anything to deserve it. All we have to do is accept Him into our hearts, believe in Him, and give all of our troubles over to Him, because He says that we are not alone. He gave us the choice to accept Him, which is amazing! And since I gave my life over to Him, my life has never been the same. I've seen life from a whole new perspective. The perspective that I am loved and that I am not alone. He hears me, cares about me, and is just to forgive me for all of my sins. I sin daily. Every. Single. Day. But He still forgives me when I ask for forgiveness. I hate myself, but at the same time know that I am capable, because of God, to be much more. He has given me the strength, faith, and most importantly, love, to be able to become so much more. I am trying harder than I was before to get better. I never give up or take the easy way out because I know that it is not the answer. I am no longer living for myself, so why would I take my life back and end it? Why worry when God is in control? If God is for me, who can be against me? I would stand and die for God, even if the whole world hated me. In the end, life is short, but eternity is forever. What matters more? I fleeting moment of "fun", or an eternity of happiness? I choose happiness. Which brings me back to my ex. She is gone, but I know I am not alone. I feel an emptiness, but I know that it will be filled again. God has set someone out there who is perfect for me. All I have to do is follow Him and He will lead me to her. I will be patient. But I still miss this girl. I was with her for almost two months, but I felt something that I've never felt before. I missed her when she left, which is different from all my past girlfriends. And she misses me and wishes that she was ready and that her life was back together so that we could be together again. The question is: should I wait for her? Or move on? And if I wait on her, how long do I wait? Thank you for reading and God bless.
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I am religious like you but I don't talk about religion to anyone because I know that if they aren't like that they don't want to hear it. You may have pushed this girl away with your religious talking. If she isn't like that herself you may have been too much for her especially if she doesn't understand your faith in God. If you did talk religion to her you should move on as it could have been too much for her. I am glad that you have so much faith and I hope you meet someone else soon.
ReplyMatthew 19:6: Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”—no one can stop God, try as they might.
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