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Just one i want to experience happiness that lasts a whole day. just once i want to feel stressed but not have it overwhelm me and make me feel suicidal. just once i wanna experience my feelings without being so self aware. i KNOW my problems aren’t the worst, my situation isn’t bad but i just can’t handle anything. every little thing feels soul crushing. every little emotion i feel is so intense. i can’t handle the pressure, the stress, it’s all too much. i really wake up everyday disappointed that i’m alive because that means i have to keep going. i have no will to kill myself but i have no will to live my life. i’m never enough, not smart even to be great but not dumb enough to be ignored. always having to push myself past my limits so that i can chase after this feeling of peace that is being held over my head if i achieve but no matter what i do or achieve i can’t get this peace. i sound lazy, i sound ungrateful but i just can’t. im weak im not built to live in this world. im not built to stop fix myself and continue onward, i feel broken and i don’t wanna be fixed. i just wanna stop.
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