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It's been two weeks since you verbally abused me. Every day since that night, I've felt off, like something bad is about to happen. I've got that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I only smile when I have to "turn it on" in public. When I'm home, I sit on the couch and stare at the carpet. No TV on. No texts. I don't even register what I'm looking at but I know it's the floor. When I'm not doing that, I walk from room to room, taking turns staring out different windows. I might watch the birds for a minute but then the sadness returns and I go back to the couch. To make matters worse, you were supposed to be visiting me. That was exactly what I needed to pull me out of my funk. For the first time in a week, I went to the grocery store. I smiled at people. I bought dinner supplies, fresh flowers for the table, a new candle, and board games. I took a shower, got a pedicure, curled my hair, and cleaned. But you never showed up. Our meeting time came and went. I asked you if you were still coming and one hour passed. Then two. I blew out the candle, put my hair up in a messy bun, ate a late dinner alone, and went back to the couch. You texted far too late. You made up an excuse about having to leave early and were "soooooo sorry to bail ðŸ˜". Yeah right.
You had no idea how much that visit meant. It had motivated me enough to feel normal after what I went through. My soul had rotted away and you were going to put life back into me.
The next time you decide to bail on your friends, just remember that not everyone is going to tell you that your visit might be the thing that they needed that week.
Please don't flake out unless it's necessary and please never stand someone up. Especially girls because we really put effort into things like that. I had such a cool night planned.
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