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Today is Valentine's day and during the afternoon I went to my friends to celebrate the occasion since I felt more comfortable being with them (We're all single). Me and my family are really not in good terms and I started to ignore them more often and won't talk, I would only put a poker face every time. I did not ask any permission since they won't bother anyways, just like how they would always treat me cuz I'm the middle kid. I always felt neglected and out of place in our house and I want to escape just for today, to show a happy face with my friends.
Being with them even if it's tiring is pretty nice. I enjoyed and ate a lot with a nice melody in the background. We talked and explore the city joyfully. We haven't really met since last year due to the pandemic but when we met, there was no change at all, it was just like how we always have a good time in high school.
Since we have a really good time, we don't notice the time and went home in 6 pm. It was pretty dark and I walked alone since we have different place of residence. I was pretty tired and exhausted. I went home and my mother was preparing a celebration with my relatives in our home. I am sure my mom would scold me but she can't in front of her sibling. I was saved. To alleviate her anger, I gave her a pink flower that I brought, but she didn't accept it.
I was really not planning on giving anything to my mother, since she hurt me way too much that I would always cry in my room without making any noise. Most of the time when I cry, I can't control my emotions and end up having a sudden attack, but I would never make any sound. It's always hard. No one knew about my miseries even my close friends and family.
Due to my absence for 5 hrs. my father was worried. I don't care. They are just like this because I won't talk to them. Aaarrgh, I'm just way too sentimental and no one really know. They think that I don't have any emotions. But I just can't show the real me to people. I don't trust anyone.
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