My Unsent Letter

You’re abusive to me. You like to try to show me what I’m missing, how good it could be, but only to reel me in to hurt me more and more. You demand exactly what you want by keeping yourself from me like I need to serve you in the way you want, or you will refuse to love me. That’s abuse. Another thing. I get the feeling you’re only close to me when you fear I’m going to do something or abuse you somehow. Otherwise, you don’t want me at all. That is not true. I would never hurt you. If something is hurting you, all you would have to do is say, and it would stop, because I care for you. But you, everything about you is abuse, everything you do. I tried to love you but abuse is what you threw back at me, and now you’re gaslighting me, pretending I’m the only one at fault.