I made myself throw up.

I know it's wrong, I've seen the psas, the posters, I've had the sentimental talks, but I don't care. It felt good, it was so freeing, life goes by so fast and I can't control it, I can't even control what I eat. I used to be scared about making myself throw up but being able to finally do it feels like I've finally been able to accomplish something, if not homework, if not chores, at least this. I have never felt so at ease and destressed. I love food and I can never seem to stop eating in the moment but then I feel awful, throwing up seems to calm that. I recently got a therapist and started talking to her about my issues with binge eating. In fact I've talked to a lot of people about my issues with binge eating, but it never seems to be a big concern, as long as I'm not throwing up or starving myself hey! What's the issue? Well I finally threw up, and I threw up well, I threw up all those pointless with salsa, the cucumber, the chocolate, the ice cream, the brownie, I threw it all up and I'm proud of myself, for once I'm proud. This beats all of what those self care books talk about. Sure it's an easy way out but can't things just be easy for once?

Yes I know the repercussions but again I don't care, no one believes me when I say I'm sick, let's see if they believe now.