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We met in sixth grade science class and we've been best friends ever since. I can tell her anything and everything; she knows things about me that no one else could ever guess. Our friendship is strong and pure and it makes my life better every day just knowing that I've got her to support me.
The problem is, I'm in love with her. Totally, completely, insanely in love with her. She is the most intelligent, funny, kind, brave, beautiful person I have ever known. Every day, she dazzles me. I love her so much it hurts to think about it: about how happy I would be just to touch her, just to hold her, just to tell her how much she means to me. When I sleep over at her house and we share a bed, it's agony: she's so close I can hear her breathing but it feels like we're living in two different worlds.
She has no idea about any of this, of course. I've considered telling her in the past, but I've never had the courage--I always tell myself it's not the right time. We go to colleges in different countries, she has a boyfriend, I've been in relationships when she's been single. There is always a reason for me to hold back, to throw away the letter I've written her, to think twice about sending a late-night text. I've spent years telling myself that a better opportunity would come up, telling myself to wait for her to give me a sign, to make a move. And, of course, I fear rejection, embarrassment, losing her as a friend.
Now we are farther apart (literally) than we've ever been and I miss her so much it hurts. I fear that I've missed my chance forever, that I'll never be able to tell her how I feel. Even if she doesn't feel the same way (I assume she doesn't), I care too much about her to keep her in the dark. She deserves to know how very loved she is.
Laura gets home in a few days--she'll be in town for the summer. Should I tell her how I feel?
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I think you should do it :) You might never get another chance to tell her, who knows? It must be hard to be so in love with her but not want to risk ruining your friendship, yeah? But I've been in a similar situation - I actually am in one right now - and though I don't feel the same way towards the person, we're still the best of friends. So I think you have a good shot, and she deserves to know how you feel, like you said. The decision is ultimately in your hands, but I wish you the best of luck!
ReplyI think you should, too. Especially because you're farther apart now- you have less to lose. If you don't tell her, you'll wonder what would have happened if you had for the rest of your life. That's no way to live. It's better to be up front and honest and real about what you want and how you feel than to sit in the background. Even if she says she isn't interested- It's a whole lot easier to get over someone when you know it's one sided than when you spend your days constantly wondering.
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