Not leaving, just useless 👍

Bu bu bu feel like crap cuz I've been in a slump over school work and i know i can and should so it but its also frickin hard to focus on it and its boring and its my last year so i know i should get it done but i have no frickin motivation and am probably gonna end up being a super senior, soemthing that irks me because my little sibling uses it as an insult. Its not bad really, i know it'll help me get caught up if i do have to spend another year doing school work but i also feel like a useless disappointment becuase even tho my parents say it ok i know it isnt. I dont have a fucking job, im prinot going to leave home when i turn 18 cuz i dotn know how to do shit and i know the whole 'mom passed away when i was 14/13' would be an excuse because i was apparently actually ok at school before that but now im just stupid and useless and fuckibg stupid and a fucking idiot cuz i cant even figure out how to fucking cook and i can usually take the jokes that my stepmom and sibling make about it cuz i can make the jokes back but its hard to remember to laugh later when im alone and realize its all true.

I want to hurt myself soemtimes over it. I did already actually, a year ago around today, but that was more to see if i could i think. I have liek gross acne all overr my shoulders back neck and chest and pick at that, i think its just a habit now but i realized recently i could use my nails on my skin and it works. I havent drawn blood but i left bruises oj my armn. I dotn liek myself. Both for the hurting, picking anf everything above.

Idfk thats all

Bye