What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
Can I build my own personality without having the trauma affecting it or people around me influencing it?
2 years ago · 3 · Family Issues, +2
346
If anyone can answer the question in the title it would be really helpful..
My Dad constantly shouts at me, rarely talks properly and always tries to beat me. Says a lot of things which makes me think Why am I even alive. Doesn't care What I do and just finds a way to get mad at me and when I try to express my opinion It is considered as talking back obviously. He does not care about our opinions and does not respect my mom. Always tries to bring her down in front of everyone and never talks properly to her. At first I didn't get how bad this was until recently I started to notice how he talks to my mom and now that I started taking her side , it's the same for me. Anyone watching them will definitely think why is he acting this way to his wife. I don't how she puts up with this. My dad literally said today that I don't have a say in this matter because I didn't choose the medical field. I can't describe how he acts.. mom dad fight a alot but mostly its dad who starts this.
My mom always has something to shout at me for. If I did nothing wrong she will make something, find something if not then bring something up from the past. She always has to say things which my worst enemies Haven't even said that to my face. She bodyshames me , say I can't anything, etc. She thinks saying these negative things will make me want to be better but I can't see how that works. It makes depressed. Recently I had been out the whole for classes and tuitions and didn't eat anything. But as soon as she sees me , she says " you have to give the test scheduled tomorrow, skip the other classes ( which is the one I am taking to do something of my interest (job, which is also not exactly of my interest but I just decided to go with it and be depressed studying my entire life just to hear them saying they are disappointed and then just die ig) I didn't eat anything that night either.. because who cares ? All they want are good marks. And the funny thing is even if I get good marks they will find something else to point at to make me want to just not live anymore.
Even though my mother is this way... At the end of the day I still go back to her because I dont have anyone else in this world. I find her better than my dad. Of course all the reasons why I feel that way for my dad aren't mentioned here. But all I can say I don't want to have a personality like him and even the nagging of my mom. Sometimes I find myself acting like them and I feel really worst. Can I build my own personality without having the trauma affecting it or people around me influencing it?
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Toxic family
I’ve never been good enough for my mother. She picks favorites among her children, always holding my younger brother above myself. No matter what I do, she...
-
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
my dad is mad that my boyfriend has darker skin than me. we are both asain he's just more tan than I am. it makes me so mad because my dad is never involved wit...
Please keep going , you can get through this!
ReplyYes, you can. Suggest to your parents that they should go to marriage counselling and if that doesn't work suggest to your mother to leave your dad because she doesn't have to live like this. You are lucky because one day you will leave to make your own life and if they are still together and carrying on like this then leave them to it.
ReplyTruth be told- The answer is no.
But that does not mean your trauma or the people surrounding you define you.
The behaviours you have undergone because of your trauma was for YOUR survival. It helped shape you into the person you were, are and will be. But it is your choice to decide what to do in response to your trauma.
E.g. The emotional abuse and gaslighting you experience may warrant you to be more reserve, but that is not to say that that doesn't teach you not treat others like that, or gives you tell tale signs of what an abusive (psychological, emotional, physical etc) relationship is.
The people around you will influence too. The traits you find beautiful or you respect, you may unknowingly take on those traits. At the same time, you may witness some concerning or ugly traits in others, and that acts as an example to you of what you refuse to associate yourself with, both yourself exhibiting the traits and associating yourself with others.
The point is: Your trauma and the people WILL influence your personality and behaviour. BUT YOU HAVE THE POWER to decide how it will influence your personality.
I wish you well, I wish you peace and finally I wish you find the contentment behind yourself.
Reply