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I've been raised in a family where their ideology is ladies must do all the work with men with all the minimalists. I remember being in year5, my mum telling me to do the dishes and start cleaning the house, I was little, but I did it without a word.
Slowly, by the time I was in year 7, all the work was in my hands, if I was free, and there was work, it had to be done. By then my brother was in year 5 and I asked my parent why we didn’t share the workload. It was because he was little.
Slowly time passed and if I was to not do a single dish, I would get screamed at and called lazy.
It's like it was my duty if I did not there was a part of me missing. Isn't it unfair that another ppl shares the workload while me by myself. Sometimes I think all those precious times I surprised my parents with a garbage to clean house was for nothing. For nothing. It's like if u did it for extra well done and move on, no heart given into it. Was there any compassion for my work?
Every time I opened my mouth onto why my brother couldn’t help, it was because he is two years younger. But he will always be two years younger. Soon he reached year 8, the year I had to do work at it limit, and my dad asked me to do the dishes, I asked why can't my brother do it, I was seriously asking him why? Why can't he? I envy the other ppl having a sister to share the load. Why can't my brother. I wasn’t nagging why I must do the work, why can't I share it. Why do I have to watch my brother do nothing but carry rubbish bags and me doing the work like a full lady. When will there be justice. As soon as I open my mouth my parent starts the argument of how I'm lazy, do nothing but sit back. I understand, I'm fat, but that doesn’t mean I don’t do work. I've done enough work to understand how I'm not unworking. But in the end, I'm still the lazy, fat daughter who NEVER does work.
All I asked for was for the answer to my question. Why.
But all I want is for them to treat my brother the same way they did to me.
I don’t know why they simply don’t listen to me. I ask then in a mindful manner, but their result is them fighting for work to be done.
Should I just pretend that nothing in my heart matters and do what they ask. Or can I simply have my answer.
I really wished I had someone to talk to who could understand how I felt, without fighting with me.
I don’t know why my ideology seems rubbish to my parents, but this won't stop, not until I leave this home, because in the future, my home’s ideology is work isn't just for women, it's for men too.
The burden on my shoulder never comes off. I wish someone was here to understand how I felt. For my parent were brought up with older siblings who shared the workload, and share their story of always doing the work, but did they do it all by themselves? I guess no one will ever understand how I feel.
I do not know why this I am going on forever, but I wish, I really wish I wasn’t alone.
For life as the oldest sucks, especially not having another sister older or close to the age of you, because, if I did, I am sure that my life wouldn’t have been the same.
The brother I currently have, doesn't share personal feelings, even if I stand up for him, and I get the blame, it's like I was meant to take the burden off.
Please. I want my answer. For my life, is kept constant, without justice to my burn.
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ReplyYou are being trained for when you marry and you will be doing more than the dishes then. The traditional idea is that women look after the kids and do the housework, washing, and cooking while the man goes out to work to provide for the family. If you marry and complain about your husband not helping when he has been working all day you should go to his place of work and help him first.
ReplyHow can you convert a person to your ideology when you arent speaking in a way they understand? You have to persuade them with their way of thinking and logic. You cant convert someone by being emotional and angry. Become smarter if you truly care. You have to overthrow their mind you gotta manipulate them just like how they were manipulated by their parents. Strongly set ideology wont change easily. Either you leave- or you overthrow them.
ReplySo are you a 10 year girl having so much workload?
Reply