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To my dearest,
How are you? You probably don't remember me cause I'm just that silly girl that liked you for I don't know 10 years now. If you asked our friends they'd probably say 8 or 7 because I've been lying to them saying that I no longer have feelings for you.
What a lie.
You know I really hated you, I confessed to you, to FORGET my feelings but you didn't even reject me and say no, I was crying my eyes as I lay in bed not because you didn't feel the same way but because YOU didn't SAY that you didn't feel the same way.
I still think back to that day, when you told me " You don't know what the future may be" and my dumbarse just clung to those words. Probably hoping that you'll fall for me in the future. You are still the person that holds my heart. Cheesy I know but can't help it, seems like no one can replace you.
That's what upsets me more.
We're not friends, I'm just that quiet classmate that happens to like the popular boy which is you. I fell so hard for you it's not even funny, you're everything I've dreamed of smart, hard-working, talented, kind, family-oriented....thing is that you'll never be mine.
I watched you fall for the people around me, First is a friend of ours Hazel, she was pretty, can dance well and has long hair. I grew my hair and learned how to dance. The second was one of my then best friends, Cindy, she was also beautiful, with fair white skin, long brunette hair with a cheery personality. So I took care of my already pale skin and tried to be more bubbly. The third was a girl that played volleyball, so I took up sports, played a bit of volleyball but fell in love with swimming.
What a mistake.
Falling for you was and for now is the biggest mistake I've ever made but if I can go back to the past, having feelings for you is the only mistake I'd repeat over and over again. It's beautifully painful, I saw the parts of you that you'd never show your friends let alone your lover. Yet I still like you after seeing and unmasking all your flaws.
I don't want to call it love.
But thank you for merely existing. Have a nice life.
Sincerely, K
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Idk but this is so beautifully written. Seems like you're a very loyal and sincere person. For someone so genuine and pure for their feelings, a person like you is hard to find. Your post reminds me of song "distance" by Christina Pierre. It's so pure and genuine. This kind of love is beautiful and painful at same time. I wish you good luck and hope best for you! May you find someone who feels the same way for you :)
ReplyThank you very much!
ReplyI was scared at first to start writing about my feelings, funny thing is, I ended up pouring my heart out once I started.
ReplyYou should be proud of yourself that you loved someone with all your heart and loyalty. If they don't reciprocate your feelings tell yourself that your love was too much for them.
ReplyReminds me of my friend's advice :>
Thank you very much!
Reply