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Why do I feel hurt whenever I see my friend have fun with her other group of friends, it’s not like they know me. After all she’s been treating me just as her other friends, same mood, same effort, same everything, although I feel as though I’m being lied too, maybe I’m being over dramatic, since when I saw her and her group of friends (which I never saw nor knew she ever had) my heart dropped, and I could only turn the other direction before she even saw me, I felt hurt, I literally was about to cry but I didn’t since I was in school after all, I brushed it off, but it still hurts, I know she treats me the same and everything just like everyone else, she says she puts me on a pedestal but I don’t see it, she ditched me to walk with somebody else, and didn’t even bother to invite me, she talks to everyone around her, that she calls her friend, if I don’t give her my interest or effort, she goes to somebody else. I know she isn’t the emotional available type, but why do I feel like she constantly lies to me? Even if she tells me not to worry, she still does the same mistakes that hurt me, over and over and over again. To the point I feel that she is lying to me or just I feel manipulated, maybe not the correct word but that’s how I feel, I create an image of them in my head, that portrays them to be perfect and everything related to the good, I see them the people I hold dearly close to me, in that light that I portray in my mind, an image you created that most of the time isn’t really real. She broke my trust multiple times, she apologized, and I remained to still keep her on that pedestal image in my mind, but I’ve come to conclusion, she wasn’t all that special, she was just somebody else, that I made unique, in my mind :( I feel that all those apologies all this everything is all just a lie, she says I put you on a pedestal as well! Even though I was there for her, I did everything for her, most of the time, I feel constantly lied to, and basically manipulated, every time she says sorry, she does the same thing a week later, “emotionally unavailable” my ass, she just doesn’t care enough to hear me ramble and work things out.. she calls doing my homework, effort, no, at least to me it isn’t, to me that is the bare minimum, to what I did for her, I don’t like making expectations, but what she has done for me isn’t even compared what I’ve done for her, not even a thank you?? effort is made by actions, you could say allll you want but if you don’t do it, what’s the point? I find out more about her, I make time for her. Yet I’m still left in the cold, yeah and she says she puts me on a pedestal, I think it’s the other way around..
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I could understand you because i had a friend (well u can say that) who was friendly with everyone treated everyone like they are besties but she never actually think of anyone as her friend she wasn't the type of person who would engage into deep friendship she was actually my childhood friend and i spent so many time with her but she not only betrayed me lied to me but used me from that incident i began to understand just because people are friendly with me doesn't actually mean that they really want to be friends or the type of friends i wanted , i believe in friendship where i could actually feel that i am not the only one constantly putting efforts (actually i was in this case) but i realized she is not worth my affection why am i wasting my time on someone who only looks at me like others even though we know each other since childhood ,obviously the amount of anger and mood swings i faced was horrible because i discovered more things about her with time which made me realise i was a fool to think that we were even friends
ReplyI’m sorry you had to deal with that, but the last part you mentioned really took a total on me. But trust me I completely understand where you are coming from as well, my friend says she try’s but I never see her effort, and for her to view me as somebody else when I’ve been with her for 8+ years now, is kinda shit, no friend should do that especially if they know how much work you’ve done. I feel bad you’ve went through this, but going through this only made you realize, of what you truly deserved instead. ❤️
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