My Timed Entry

I feel like a horrible person. I've never used someone, and I can't help bur wonder if I'm using him. What for? I usually ask myself, and truth be told I have no good reason. He's amazing. He asks me how my day went, makes sure I get enough sleep, takes me out to eat, I should be grateful. I'm always told I can't ask for more, and maybe they're right, but I do want more. And I know exactly who that more is.

What can I say? I'm not a good person, I know that. I won't excuse myself saying it's because I'm confused, I have no right to do that. I am not a good person. But still, I do want more. I can't help but feel numb, like whatever I'm doing is just to distract myself from the fact that I feel nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

There is no use in trying, I know I won't catch feelings, because I know my feelings are all caught on someone else. Still, he deserves to know, doesn't he?