I want to know people.

This may sound self-centred, and I’m entirely ok with that.

I want to know people. I care deeply about other people, I can be honest about that now. I care so, so much. It’s my best and worst quality.

I want friends, connections of every kind. I maybe even want a partner (or more than one, I’m open minded). I want to be there for someone when they need it, and I want to still care for them when they don’t need it, just because they deserve it. I want to be the shoulder someone trusts enough to cry on. I want to be that go-to friend that organises self-care-and-a-comfort-movie days, sleepover style. I want to make someone laugh until they’re breathless. I want music and shared food and those 3am talks that get a little too serious and existential, watching the stars with hands cupped around a steaming Irish coffee. I went silliness, pushing a drunk friend down a hill in a trolley and picking them up again at the bottom, still laughing.

I want to take care of someone. Deep down, I might even want to be looked after a little bit too. I might want someone who knows they can depend on me, and who also wants to be there for me if I need it. That’s asking too much though, that’s where it all went wrong before.

I just want someone. It’s time.