Thoughts

Last night was hell. All through the night my dad kept getting up fighting with mom. I've had maybe 4 hrs sleep in 3 days because of him. And I hear him start again on mom I go in there no words were said but he looks at me and goes " DONT STAND THERE A GIVE ME A MEAN LOOK" Oh I'd do more than that I don't want to go jail and he won't remember anything once this all over so a fight would only hurt me. I still remember last months he don't. He Is in drunky land again.

Unfortunately I hate being related to him. I have that nobody will control me impulse in me too but I don't go around making everyone's life hell from it like he does from his stupid drug addiction.

He's gonna be sorry he really will. I've gone through enough stress to bring a 100 story building down. I'm strong but I'm only human too. If dad were on the receiving end of this he'd probably beat the crap of the person causing it. I mean he already has me in the past from not controlling his rage of his own life so if I weren't so forgiving easy going I'd have left him on the side of the road along time ago if I couldve.

I've had 4 hrs sleep IN 3 DAYS 😠😠😠😠😠 DO YOU KNOW HOW FRUSTRATED I AM?!??????????!!?

I miss when my grandma was alive she'd shelter me from dad even as a kid because he was mean to me and I wanted to get away from him. I knew if I went back home itd be hateful mouth and spanking me for no reason because I wasn't good enough to his likings and "stressed him out" from him making me cry ....wtf?????? because even then drugs made him just as mean as he his now. I was never the problem it was him and the drugs. I was a good child my grandma said they never knew I was on the place. But you know dad would always threaten me if I said something not being able to handle his mean attitude. I wish my grandparents would haunt the hell out of him. He needs something to change him. At least I felt safe at their house. With him he was a landmine waiting to go off like today he never changed. Well I've went through enough abuse in this life and this isn't all inclusive. So I hope you reap what you sow dad. I have little for him. I was fine without him in my life until he came crying he was being homeless. It's not my fault him n mom stole off grandma my other one for drugs. He deserved it. Nobody would tell me the truth at that time or I'd never helped him. They wanted rid of dad my relatives there did. Then after mom got here they were both forced on me because they just partied and nobody wanted them as squatters. The least they could've done vwas told me what happened, not force them on me throwing us all out of my aunt's me paying her rent too. She's an awful person. I just want all this to stop. I need peace desperately.

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