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Dear Tobi H***z,
I love you, Tobi. I have loved you for years. But you have never loved me the way I needed to be loved and for that, I am sorry. I am sorry I was too difficult to comfort. I am sorry I was too needy. I am sorry that I loved you too much. For all the times I said sorry, here are some times I needed you to say sorry(genuinely).
When I texted you that my girlfriend of one year broke up with me and you didn't say anything for a week- I needed a sorry. When I told you that my feelings about how being friends with you made me feel tired and lonely but I would continue to be your friend because I would never leave you and I love you too much and then you yelled at me and ghosted me for a week because I told you my feelings- I needed a sorry. When your dog died and you told me that he had run away and when you found him he was practically frozen(ice on his legs) and that he was bleeding and how he died in your arms on your baby blanket but then when you told other people he died, you told them calmly and were playing video games or reading Wattpad and simply shrugged off his death, you told me a horrific story so you could get my attention- I needed a sorry. When my cat died, the one who had been with me since I was adopted at 3 and who I always had a special connection with and all you said was, "shit that sucks" and proceeded to talk about you 3 minutes later. When you told me you wanted to move away from me when you were older and you wanted my help finding the perfect place(which I proceeded to do) even though you promised me you would never leave me and we used to fantasize about how we were going to live together and have epic jobs together- I needed an apology. For when I called you crying and we talked, but while I was still crying you said you needed to hang up because your boyfriend was calling, you always put your boyfriend ahead of your best friend- and for that, I needed an apology.
I loved you too much, which is why I put our friendship to an end. You gave me empty hope. Love made me blind, and for that I am sorry. My shoulder will always be available for when you need to shed tears, my ears will always be open for when you need someone to rant to, and my mouth will always be here to give you words of wisdom and comfort. And even though I know I will never receive those things from you, I will still not take those things away from you out of spite. Hopefully, I will learn to move on, but it's been a month and a half and I am still very much in love with you.
~Bell, your "bestiebae"
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