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It feels like the only thing I'm saying at the moment. Sorry. Everything I do is wrong, I can't open up about myself without being in the wrong, I can't give advice without being wrong, I can't do something without being wrong. Everything I do seems to be wrong. I tried opening up to my mum yesterday after she caught me off guard by asking personal questions, I eventually opened up and then she started shouting at me and crying. I was so confused, I had only told her how I feel about myself and at home, I wasn't gonna lie because she'd shout at me more. Then shouted some more because I was doing that awkward smile everyone does when your uncomfortable and for not showing any slight show of reaction when she was telling me off. You know why, mum? Because I'm so used to it now that I know what to expect and I cba with it at all, so there is no point trying to do anything in these situations except sit there in silence whilst you go on and on. Even when you say things like 'go live with your dad then', 'your dad isn't as good as you make him out to be', 'I raised you, not him so stop acting like he's your hero', I'm not gonna do anything, I'll save that for later when I'm alone :). I know my dad didn't raise me but at least he isn't judgmental when I open up to him, at least he doesn't put me through situations like this which makes me feel worse about myself. After a while, I started talking. Saying similar things I've just said and my mum began crying again, I felt bad but she never lets me get my point across, so when she does I'm gonna take that opportunity to actually say what I feel. She always spits back at me saying all sorts, really we're as bad as each other-the only thing is I come to my senses and apologies whilst she says adults don't have to say sorry for what they do or she says 'sorry, BUT..' and begins reasons why I'm more in the wrong so I'm not getting anywhere with her. Am I taking it too far? I always forgive but never forget, but if I'm being truthful I act like I forgive but I'm not going to when someone is gonna be like that with me, I just do it to make others better, otherwise I'd just made out to be the wrong one and like I said I cba with arguing.
All I'm trying to say is I'm just so tried of having to say I'm sorry all the time.
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you are the best. dont be sorry about anything
ReplyThank you so much <3
ReplyLet me hug you baby. You are safe in my arms
Reply<33333
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