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The pain of dying. I realise when I write this that it is not death itself that I am troubled by but suffering. Death cannot be controlled. You cannot cheat it. You cannot really experience death because it is the end, it is nothing. But suffering can be managed, it can be minimised. I hate and I am frightened of suffering. Experiencing pain whether physical or mental. I hate seeing other people suffer. You know that it is unnecessary. But you realise that we are full of faults and life is full of complications that cannot be avoided. I believe in reality that I am simply scared of living. I am frightened of life, of experiencing so much only to eventually drift away into nothing.
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What you are experiencing is, realization that you have no control.
ReplyIg everyone comes to this phase thinking these things. Just relax and let it pass. All you need to do is eat healthy and be healthy. Your body knows how to work and if something happens it'll tell you what's wrong in form of giving you symptoms. It's supposed to work in any condition you give it. But if you dwell in the fear of of something which has not happened yet, you're gonna miss out the time you have to be carefree. In the end it comes to state of mind. A regretful life and happy death is possible when you live every moment like it's last and let yourself feel happy and get through all emotions. Practicing mindfulness, will help. Don't fear living life, like billions of people out there, your life is unique and meant to be lived to fullest. Thinking about end without living for present will only make you feel more bad in the bad. If you've drifted away from life now, remember your childhood. I hope it works.
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