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Wow.. I don't even know where to begin, a lot has happened. Ill start with this, I've started seeing a therapist, although it doesn't do me much good since i'm not entirely truthful. I have some things that I haven't told her, stuff like the violent thoughts I have or the times when I've self harmed. I haven't told her about my girlfriend although I might since I've been having issues. I haven't told her about the fact that I'm trans/gender fluid. I recently got high with one of my friends at school, we talked and the talking kinda just let loose, i told her something that I hadn't told anyone, something that i had promised not to tell anyone, of course we were both high but she told me that she thought i needed help, she told me that she thought it would be good for me to go to a hospital. I don't know, maybe it'll help. I honestly kinda want to go, get away from everything, possibly get some real help. I asked my girlfriend, who has been to a mental hospital more than once, what she thought, she said it might actually help me. Today I cried in class for two hours straight, sad thing is, well maybe it wasn't so bad but nobody noticed. One of my friends recently saw me crying, I was having a bad day and she came up to me and asked if i was ok, not able to talk I shook my head, she proceeded to give me one of her bracelets and say "A special bracelet for a special person" I look at the bracelet every time i think i want to self harm, sometimes it's enough, sometimes it isn't.
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