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I hate how insecure I’m becoming. I feel like I’m always competing against someone for something or having to ‘prove’ myself and I hate it as I feel like I’m always the loser.
Competing to show I haven’t done anything wrong, competing for jobs when I feel like I deserve it more compared to someone who only cares about money or status when I care more, competing to show I am worth something. I’m sick of having to over explain or show something otherwise I get shat on or people get bored of me. I feel like there is pressure to be smart, slim and funny. I can’t relax as I get told I’m too serious/short tempered/not good enough. I can’t enjoy enjoy food as I get bloated and can’t fit into my clothes.
I struggle finding joy in the simplest things and I can’t tell people otherwise I get ignored or told to shut up and be happy long story short.
I’ve given up on dating as they treat me like a queen at first then after a while get bored and ditch me for someone else or I’m a second choice after their friends/hobby/secret slice on the side.
I’m starting to dislike people in general as they just want entertainment or someone to fill a void or are snobby about status and power.
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ReplyDon't worry about competing. You'll be most successful in most of life's competitions if you don't worry about what other people are doing or thinking. Eat the food you want to, and keep up balanced exercise to maintain healthy habits. Work on improving yourself, not in comparison to others, and you'll find it easier to land the jobs you're aiming for. First step: really think about who YOU want to be. And decide how to become that. Don't worry about others, becoming a 'you' that you're proud of will take you much further in life than any attempts to compete. After all, no one can be 'you' quite as perfectly as you can - and you can't compete effectively to try and be like someone else either
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