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I am feeling very anxious.. my mind is full of negative thoughts right now.. my father is drunk again and he already had argue with my mother when they were at the other place ... but he couldn't do anything there but I am sure he'll make a scene once he comes back home at night ... he will verbally abuse my mother, probably even going to hit her and all I can do is get in middle of them and then he'll probably end up beating me up too , my mother won't shut her mouth which would provoke him even more and will make it even worse . I have exams in less than 2 weeks but I am not even able to focus, I was doing just fine but once my mother told me about their fight... I can't help but imagine all of the things that are going to happen... I am getting thoughts where I imagine myself stabbing him , or me giving my mother something to hit him back or me just jumping off the building because I can't take it no more ..
It is becoming really difficult for me ... but I can't take my life because if I did that my boyfriend would be so disappointed on me ... he is the only one whom I have told about my parents, I always tell him this stuff now whenever this happens and he tries to console me but now I feel like even he is over it now and I feel sad because because of me Even he ends up getting sad ... he is trying to help me to concentrate in my studies but I don't know if I'll b able to do it in this environment....
I just hope things won't get any worse...
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this sounds really difficult. I think your parents should separate/divorce but I do not know if it is possible in their situation. Maybe you could try to talk with your mom about it? maybe she will understand that you will have exams and she will try to help you / to arrange a calm home...?
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