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This week I've discovered a lot of things.
One, I'm a terrible daughter.
Two, I should be ashamed of myself.
Three, habits don't go away, no matter how long you last did it, no matter how easy it is-it crawls right back.
Four, I can't trust anyone.
Five, I'm slowly loosing my bond with my father.
Six, she'll never be my best friend again and I need to get over it.
Seven, I need to realise my emotions don't matter anymore-suck it up.
Eight, diaries don't work.
Nine, I'm too scared to do it but I really want to.
Ten, I'm f@cking fed up of this world, I have no reason to, I have the 'most perfect life anyone could ever ask for, I have no reason to feel how I do, I haven't gone through ANYTHING to make me like this-get over yourself'.
So that's what I'm gonna do. Get over myself.
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you got this girl keep it up im here for you ~sunflower.
Reply<33 Thank you
Replynp (XOXO) ~sunflower
ReplyOne - The fact that you believe you're terrible means you want to be better. Let's just say that's better than a whole lot of people.
Two - Maybe, I don't know you, but same thing - you want to improve. You can.
Three - True, true, but there is no habit that is unbeatable, all the way from hard drugs to procrastination.
Four - You can, you just don't know who. You'll find out eventually. You probably can trust your dad, going by point 5.
Five - Slowly loosing - dangling at the edge of the cliff, but still not plummeting down the abyss. It's still there, rescue it. It's as simple as watching a movie or going to Macdonald's with him.
Six - You don't need to get over it. You need to cry under the covers and listen to each and every one of Tay's heartbreaking songs and eat too much ice cream. It's as much of a heartbreak as any other. And if she ever was truly your best friend, she might just come around.
Seven - Yes they do! I wouldn't answered if they didn't! I wanted to reassure you a bit, because how you feel matters alright!
Eight - Oh my, can't say anything, but that did crack me up a bit. You're funny.
Nine - If 'it' means - signing up for the musical and being too scared - just do it. Just go and do it. The worst is you'll not make it (applies to all activities, the musical is just an example)
If 'it' means - jumping off of somewhere high - DONOT! BE VERY, VERY SCARED. Just don't.
Ten - Champagne Problems are problems still. You might be luckier than a lot of people, having a roof over your head, meals, an education and all, but that doesn't mean your problems aren't problems or you're complaining too much. Having a lot to be grateful for is not even close to having nothing to be upset about. It's okay.
It's good to be all sunshine, it's good to be happy, it's good to be the badass person who doesn't care about emotions too much and just sails through everything. But everyone's boat goes down some time or the other, and then you need someone else to come help you up.
It's okay to be upset and vulnerable. It's better than pushing away your feelings.
You can feel only one thing at a time. If you're not feeling happy, and you push away the sadness, you'll feel nothing. Empty, numb. Doesn't that sound worse than plain sad?
You'll get better. I promise. Everyone does. Take your time.
I'm rooting for you!
ReplyThank you so much, this made me cry I hope you have a brilliant day <3
ReplySame to you!
Reply