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Hi and welcome to another episode of ____’s up really late and questioning her sexuality for the 100th (maybe not literally) time!
I’m asexual and I ‘came out’ as asexual a couple of months ago- that made me feel GREAT. I finally accepted a loved that part of myself. But there has still always been a nagging feeling that I can’t figure out. I think there’s a chance I might be bi or pan. But I always get so stressed out that I’m just like convincing myself that I AM because of what I see on social media and in movies. It’s also just difficult because I don’t feel sexual attraction to anyyyone - so if I like someone, I always base it off if I can see myself in a relationship with them. If I can imagine being together. And I CAN imagine being in a relationship with boys, girls and non-binary people. I CAN imagine myself loving anyone who I get along with, have common interests, like spending time with, etc… regardless of how they identify. But I don’t want to say I’m Bi or pan or whatever else if I’m not- and I feel an intense sense of guilt over it not being a really big thing to me. I’ve always thought that if i liked someone who wasn’t a boy then cool, I’m open to that. But then I see so many people really struggle with coming out and facing their sexuality and I get so confused because I feel like it should be a bigger deal in my head than just “cool, I’m open to that”. Shouldn’t it????
So I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t be bothered about putting a label on myself. But I know accepting being asexual made me feel so great and part of a community, and I just want to be able to get over this nagging in the back of my head about who I like. But I don’t know how cause I have never been in a relationship and I can’t IMAGINE kissing or ‘being’ with ANY gender because I’m asexual and I KNOW sex doesn’t make a relationship but all I see around me in society is knowing you’re attracted to someone because of “sexual attraction” - so I worry about how the heck I’m supposed to know if I like someone. Why is it so stressful.
I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone but I’m just thinking.
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Okay so that post is already a bit old so idk if you figured out but I would say that even for me it wasn't easy to know at first but now ik I'm bi and I think you might be too bc it's abt attraction to more than 1 gender but not all of them. It's common not to feel bi bc u can have existential crisis and wonder if you're really bi. But YES it's ok to be bi or pan even if you never had a relationship, kissed or had sex. Actually I never did and I'm still bi. If the label makes u feel ok then feel free to use it. No one should blame u for that, u are the only one that can say what gender ur attracted to. It can ofc change w time so use the label that makes u proud. Even aro/ace people can be bi or pan. If you don't say no to a relationship w both the same and the opposite gender then you probably are. Ofc it would be better to experience a relationship to be sure but use the label that makes u happy.
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