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I’ve become complacent with the feeling of disappointment
1 year ago · 0
98
Let’s start with where i feel this all stems from. I grew up in a slightly poorer family, not anything considered poverty, but we would have to scrounge. Because of this I was never given nice things or the newest whatever, but I had realized at a young age that it was for the betterment of the family. So, since this realization I became very content with not having things (whether it’s clothes, shoes, money, etc.) which can have its perks. However, I’ve been in a relationship with a girl who grew up a complete 180 from me. She had everything given to her, she lived in the nicest house; things like that. Well, with this I came to realize that I still wear clothes from middle school. I don’t buy myself things unless it will make someone else happy. I won’t buy food sometimes because I know that I won’t be able to make my money last as long as possible. Today is a prime example; I ate only once because I spent money to get my mom things for Mother’s day. This is creating this sense of…content disappointment? Like I know i’m doing it to myself but I also tell myself it’s necessary. I almost feel lost and emotionless at points, like a disassociated feeling. Im not sure if this will help but I feel like I had to get it off of my chest.
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