Goodbye for dear Carnation

A lot of time has passed and I think it's time to give you a proper farewell, this letter full of cheap excuses for creating bad memories has been made having in mind the nowadays closest strangers I have met, but anyone is welcomed to read bad poetry from the internet.

This letter is especially adressed to Carnation, first of all I want to make clear that I'm not writing this searching for forgiveness. I do not exactly know the motive but I really want to tell you about the regrets I have been breeding this last two years.

Being honest I don't even know where to start, thinking about it a story needs to be told by the start.

I have always unknown the reason why people I was close to eventually became blurry faces. And probably this kind of thinking is the another seedy justification for my actions, but I dind't want to care about one of those potentials blurry faces again.

But that doesn't mean I didn't or currently don't aprecciate the many clockwise tours we spent together, to this day i still remember your the smell of your essence, the color of the blouses I used to see you wearing, the laughs we had while walking looking like lunatics about to suffer from a heart attack, the way you listened to my intrusive thoughts and didn't even thought of judging me for them...

I swear to all the small creatures you used to observe when all the group decided to have a trip to the countryside all those photos I sent to you everyday of the sky really made me picture your image in my mind.

I'm sorry, sorry for who I was, for my words my actions and my thoughts, but I can't escape the fact that I'm the responsible of the insecurities of most of you.

I don't think I can count how many apologies I due to all of you, the things I did aren't easy to accept without anger anyways. I apology to all of you, locking her in the bathrooms, hitting him with bare hands, not aprecciating your friendship and making fun of you. Dear Carnation, I'm sorry to the things you have listened all that kisses i forced you to give me knowing you liked someone else didn't end with a bitter or unpleasent taste because of my cigarretes after all...

I have changed, but the past hasn't, we can't reunite and call friends to eachother no matter how familiar it sounds.

I have hurt myself, but I understand you have always been the most injured, I'm a bad person and that will never change.

I hope all of you could get a lesson from what we have lived together as I did, Carnation once more you answered one of those deep questions, and I know you don't need neither want this answer, I know how much you liked this website.

As i said I am a bad person and I can't truly let you go knowing I dind't make a proper farewell.

Now the special spot will be visited by one of the strangers that used to bury secrets together, I wish you the best dear Carnation.