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I have a crush on a guy who lives in America. At first, I was deeply in love... and i still feel like I love him. It began with pretty engaging conversations and I really thought there was something there. I slowly started to like him more and more, i didn't care about looks, i loved his personality... he seemed like someone who would be there for me when I need it... maybe that's why I fell for him. I never had a boyfriend or girlfriend and so I become clingy really fast. Slowly, I felt like our conversations started to die down... almost as if he lost interest in me. I knew very early on that he isn't interested in me romantically, but I couldn't see him otherwise. I just feel like my heart is shattered in a million pieces, I find it hard to focus on anything else in life. I used to rant about it to my friends but I feel like they got sick of hearing me talk about the same thing over and over but what I'm feeling is really painful. Recently, I feel like I've began moving on from all of this but every now and then I would think about it and it would really sting my heart. He's planning to come to toronto and I just feel like I will miss out when he's here because I most likely won't be there. I have such a bad habit of cutting people off quickly as soon as they treat me in this similar behaviour. But he's the longest person I've kept in contact with even though he hurt me without him knowing. I might plan on telling him how i truly felt and i know he won't like me back so at that point i might just end things and move on with my life. I can't keep going with this, it turned my life upside down and my emotions have been so volatile recently. I just wanted someone who would cuddle and be there for me.
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He has a crush on a gun from America. At the start, he fell deeply in love and he still feels like he loves him sometimes. The first few days of conversations he and his crush were having engaging conversations. He thought that the crush felt something for him too. Ever since then, he slowly fell in love more and more, he didn't care how he looked, how he dressed, he just loved his personality. He thought that his crush would be the type to be there for him whenever he needed. He never had a boyfriend/girlfriend and so he becomes clingy really fast when someone gives him attention. Recently, he felt that the conversations have started to die down, he thought that his crush lost interest in him. He knew from the beginning that his crush wasn't looking for romance (he never confirmed it though) but he couldn't just see him as a friend, he wanted more. His heart is shattered to a million pieces and he found it hard to focus on anything else in life. He used to rant to his friends but he felt that they got sick of hearing him talk about the same thing over and over. He was just in pure pain. For a few days now, he felt like he has finally began to mend his heart from such a heartbreak but he would sometimes think of him and that would open the wound again. His crush is planning to come to Toronto (closer to him) and he feels like he will miss out on his life because he will not be there for him, he would've moved on at that point. He has a bad habit of cutting people off whenever someone treated him like this but this crush of his has been the longest he kept in contact with. He might plan on telling his crush how he truly feels soon so he can have full closure. He thinks that he is going to reject him and then he can move on. He can't keep going like this, his life has been shaken to the foundation ever since they both talked and his emotions have been volatile. He just wanted someone who would cuddle and be there for him.
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