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Fuc k it i say after having gone through every aspect and level of the mind where illusions and aspects behaviors. And thoughts reside. I knowe all levels of mind states how it works. After being so detached and dealt with different levels of state of mind. And been effectedited by other whatever.
I know that I have to live my life. And became so good in my internal self and having experience so many shifts and fields and states. No I don't do drugs. I hate them and hate the effects they bring out on people. I don't even take paracetamol. After having difficulty doing normal stuff was very sensitive around people was picking up Their emotions. And Thier states. Made me very confused. Also the stress from trying to help the family and sorting things out for others and family. Made me go into the lowest level of confusion. Now is been like 5 to 6 years of this stuff.
I avoided all friends.
I lost many of my friends due to the shifts I was experiencing. I just avoided them.
In the last year I became OK. I woke up from the illusion but still had the memories of the states and memories of the things. I detached from ego then came back many times. I just realised how easy access person can assume a state. But in logical sense and realistic it's just another stage. With this experience i have compared it different ways in many logical perspectives. I just sit there a sense the state and come a go. Always where my focus is. I feel like a handicap with to much knowledge about my own experience and probably others. Then there is no thoughts in the reality real state. Where I can just be as I am. With nothing to do but just being aware of awareness itself it's like a center looking at life. It's hard to use a behavior or state and function normally I have to remind my self or put myself I am state where I can function better as normal with others. After being trapped for so long and just waken up its hard to know which point to act from. Like remember the way I was very different but still sense my old states. Maybe it's just normal are just more aware or more nuts then others but I just want others to know that just because things feel or seem in a certain way in your perception it does not make it so. Love yourself and be greatful for being alive.
Be logical and greatful.
The basic stuff you can do is worth so much. Trust me.
Take care. And love to All
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