What are you looking for?
I thought I stopped liking him
6 months ago · · Crush,
I had a crush on this guy in my class- well, have, as it seems to stand.
The crush may have started because of me overthinking how I felt about him, but those feelings did develop and eventually I found myself unconsciously giggling at the mere thought of him.
Life happened and my attention was taken off of him for quite some time, so those feelings sort of faded but I knew they were still there. With the extent to which the crush had faded though, it almost felt as though those feelings were gone. I have to admit, I did become a little depressed as I no longer had a source of happiness to pull me through those long days in school, however we move on and I was doing better after some time. On the other hand, I was actually kind of glad my feelings simmered down, as I had been trying to suppress them when I found out he was dating someone.
But.... Yesterday, we made eye contact, a couple too many times for my comfort, while I was presenting my speech. When it happened, I didn't really think too much of it, however when I got home and my brain registered what had happened, I went into overdrive and constantly screamed into my pillow to calm myself down.
After that incident it has become much more difficult to keep my cool around him. Lucky for me, after said incident I've been running into him/having to interact with him WAY more than usual.
We have something called "afterclasses", which are basically extra lessons outside school hours to help teachers get more work done. Our teacher, for whatever reason, was really late so me and two other girls decided to take a walk. And who do we run into? My crush, obviously.
Me and him don't really talk, like ever, so whenever I said something, I aimed at getting responses from the girls. But tell me why he was the one responding instead? He always sat either behind or in front of me in class, however whenever he needed to pass something to someone, he would NEVER ask me for help even if I was the closest to the person he needed to pass something to. But of course after that incident he asks me to pass a book to this girl in front of me! We're split for a few of our classes, but he was free for a period, and ofcourse he had to chill in my class for that free. His girlfriend is in that class as well and that's why he was there, but my point is the timing. Had this happened even just a day before that incident, him being in my class wouldn't have affected me AT ALL.
Now, I'm not saying he's doing anything on purpose. I could honestly be overthinking this too, just like I overthought myself into liking him. I'm just.... Stressed? Because I thought I had everything under control and now I'm spiralling out of control again.
I can't confess to him, because 1) My anxiety won't let me and, 2) he's taken and that would be weird.
I don't want to like him because he's taken but the more I try to get rid of these feelings, the worse they get. And now this whole situation just made everything so much more difficult.
I don't know what to do😭