tell me a joke PLSS

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• Novni Guest · 2 years ago

  Have you watched the Johnny Depp trial? That is laugh a minute - especially the TikTok videos.

  Sometimes when I am feeling low, and have been for a while. I watch uplifting videos - of animals especially. It reminds me of how beautiful and pure life can be.

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• Novni Guest · 2 years ago

  I didn't laugh at all watching the Johnny Depp trial so I wouldn't recommend it.

  Here is a joke: a man went into a butcher shop and asked the butcher if he had a pig's head. The butcher replied, "No, it's the way I do my hair."

  Another joke: A man put his elderly mother into a nursing home and a few days later he went to visit her. He could see his mother leaning over the arm of a chair through the glass doors before he went in. As he watched a carer rushed over to his mother and sat her up, and then his mother leaned over the other arm of the chair and again the carer rushed over and sat her up. This went on a few times and the son went in and rushed to his mother. "Are you alright?" He asked her. "Oh I'm fine," she replied. Then she said, "There is just one thing." She said, "What's that ?" He asked. "They don't let you fart."

  Another joke: There was a man called Dave who one day said to his boss, "I know everyone in the world." His boss said, "You can't possibly know everyone in the world." Then Dave said, "Name someone." HIs boss said, "Tom Cruise." The next thing you know they were in a car together and went on a very long drive. At last Dave stopped the car and with his boss he went up to the door of a house and rang the bell. Tom Cruise answered the door and said, "Hi Dave. I haven't seen you for a while. Come in and bring your friend with you." So Dave and his boss went in and chatted with Tom cruise.

  When they came out the boss said to Dave, "So you know Tom Cruise. That isn't everyone in the world." "Name someone else said Dave." "Okay Joe Biden," said his boss. The next thing they were on a plane flying to another state and after they left the airport they were walking along the sidewalk when a large car pulled up beside them. "Hello Dave, How are you?" asked Joe Biden from the car. Come and have some drinks with me later and bring your friend." So Dave and his boss had drinks with Biden. When they came outside the boss said, "So yo know Biden as well. That still isn't everyone in the world." "Alright, name someone else." said Dave. "The pope," said his boss. Then they were back on a plane heading for Italy and the Vatican. When they arrived there was a crowd of people waiting outside a large building for the pope to come out onto the balcony. Dave said, "I know the Swiss guards so I will go up and come out onto the balcony with the pope." "You can't do that!" exclaimed his boss. But Dave had run off and sure enough when the pope came onto the balcony Dave was with him. Dave looked down at the crowd and after a few minutes he saw someone lying on the ground and an ambulance making its way towards the person. Suddenly he realized who it was and he said to the pope. "That's my boss lying on the ground. I must go see what is wrong with him." He rushed downstairs and out into the crowd and when he reached his boss he knelt down beside him and asked him what happened. "I think I've had a heart attack. It's too much. When you came onto the balcony I heard people ask who is the old man with Dave."

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  • Novni Guest · 2 years ago

    That’s a monologue not a joke.

    And if you haven’t laughed at the lies being told in the Johnny depp trial then this joke suits you.

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• Novni Guest · 2 years ago

  you'll be fine, the feeling never lasts more than 2-3 days. trust me

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• Novni Guest · 2 years ago

  i would tell you a joke but the only joke i can think of is myself

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• Novni Guest · 2 years ago

  https://youtu.be/EFH9soeufXY

  Just watch this.

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• Novni Guest · 2 years ago

  My tallest finger likes to give people a standing salute

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