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Why does it have to be you?
Why has my body, mind, and soul latched onto you so strongly?
Why can't I keep you off my mind?
Why do I worry about you?
Why do I feel sad inside when you tell me you haven't slept, or you haven't been feeling well?
Why do I look forward to talking to you everyday now?
Why when I think about you beginning a relationship with someone am I happy for you and sad for myself?
Why can't I just ignore it this time?
God, I feel so stupid when we talk, you scramble my brain. You turn me into a complete mess. I feel so calm and happy around you, but when you take that tone, I just, melt. You know it too, and take full advantage. You see me as super shy, and I am, but definitely more so around you.
Given our... antics... you probably believe I only view you in one particular way. That's no longer the case and it hasn't been for a while now. With every little thing I learn about you, the urge to know more grows. With every little thing I find we have in common, I crave you more and more. I want to see you, I want to hold you, I want to watch dumb videos on the internet until I fall asleep in your arms. I want to be the woman you want to do these things with, I want to be the woman you love, but I don't believe I ever will be. I want to love you the way that you have deserved. I want to show you the love we've both craved. I want to openly express just how much you mean to me, but I know you'll pull away. I know you've never wanted these things from me and that's ok, I never expected you to.
It's selfish but, I don't want that. I don't want you to pull away, not just yet. You've become my favorite person, and I can't let that go, not yet. It will eventually happen, I know that. Things won't always be like this between us, and we will drift apart again, I know that. You'll find someone to love and I'll, well, I'll miss you. I've gotten so used to your attention, it won't be easy, but it is what it is.
I can't ignore this any longer. I just need these feelings to stop, I need my mind to stop placing you in my fantasies. I need to stop imagining things that will never happen between us. I just, I need to stop caring about you this much. Fuck.
What's the best way to get over this?
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I know you said you don't want to, but in my opinion, confessing your feelings is the best way to get over a crush. it has always worked for me. you kinda just stop longing for them after a while once they've rejected you (not that they will reject you! you might end up in a beautiful relationship, who knows)
ReplyYeah, so, update I guess: the day I was going to tell them, their replies were slow and dry so I waited. For the following three days it was almost radio silence and then they told me they had been talking almost non stop to this girl. I did end up telling them my feelings, but by that point my attraction to them, my feelings for them, had bottomed out.
We had spent every day with each other for weeks, and they dropped me just like that for someone they met four days ago. Our friendship and I, in general, OBVIOUSLY mean nothing to them, so screw it, I'm done.
So actually, your advice helped, thank you!
Reply