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When did you know you loved me? When did he grow up and realize I was the one for him. Was it those texts? Was it those moments of calming silence? Or was it your lust filled brown eyes. I wanna know. I wanna know why you. Chose me to share your love. I don’t deserve it. I love you. You love me. Your gone and so am I. Our love still burns but we ourselves are gone. The warm feelings you made me feel are now turned cold. That tiredness that filled my eyes are now full of rest. He made me cry, he made me laugh, he made me angry. He made me feel things. Feel things I longed to feel again. So why take that away from me? Why take away that feeling that I felt? What did I do? My eyes used to be dry but when talking with you or about you they flood like rivers. I used to not get angry, now I can kick and scream like a child when she doesn’t get her toy. I can laugh. I can laugh truly. True laughs. Joy fills my lungs. No longer did I cut. No longer did I suffer. I couldn’t suffer any longer because you filled me. I was yours. You were mine. We were one. I love you. I never wanted to feel love again. After all of them. I never wanted to feel in general. All I wanted to feel was pain. The feelings of razor blades as the crossed my skin. I didn’t want to feel that anymore now I want to feel you. The worst part is I can’t feel you. I can only feel you from a far or not at all. I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for unnumbing my body. Showing me what true emotion is. I love you.
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